TELLURIDE, CO — Following a open-mic incident on channel one, a gaffer who kept his walkie pressed while trashing the script was found dead at 52 on Monday.
“He went on and on about how the third act made absolutely no sense and the dialogue sounded like it was written by a concussed toddler,” said director Ty Kowalczyk. He noted that the crew was trapped listening to the broadcast for three full minutes, completely unable to interrupt the runaway keying incident.
“We all just stood there in frozen silence,” Kowalczyk continued. “The worst part is he wasn’t even wrong, but you still can’t broadcast that kind of critique to the entire set...”
At press time, the coroner had ruled the death accidental, noting the gaffer was electrocuted while rigging a light on a wet stage. His walkie was still keyed when he went down. The last thing the crew heard him say was "86 that!"
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