Director Says "Moving On" 3 Times Before, In Fact, Moving On

JOSHUA TREE, CA—Staring blankly at a video village monitor while the entire exhausted crew waited in agonizing silence for a final decision, local indie director Stu Ybarra reportedly said the phrase “moving on” three distinct times before, in fact, moving on Friday. “I usually like to give a soft ‘moving on’ to test the waters and see if anyone stops me, followed by a medium ‘moving on’ just to see how it sounds out loud,” said Ybarra, 34, who explained that the first declaration is merely an open invitation for the cinematographer to beg for another take, while the second ensures the first assistant director isn’t getting too comfortable with the shooting schedule. “It’s incredibly important to linger in that terrifying liminal space between camera setups for at least four or five minutes, just in case a radically better idea for the scene spontaneously occurs to me while a hundred highly paid professionals stare at the back of my head.” At press time, Ybarra added that his first loud call of “action” is also completely ceremonial and should be entirely ignored by the cast.