14 Screener DVDs Hospitalized As Development Executive Forgets To Say Goodnight

JOSHUA TREE, CA — Fourteen screener DVDs were hospitalized in critical condition Wednesday after development executive Marcus Quist completely forgot to say goodnight to them.

“They were just lying there shivering in their cardboard sleeves when I found them this morning,” said Quist, 34. He explained that he usually tucks each watermarked disc into a tiny blanket and whispers that it has a very strong chance at winning Best Picture.

“I rushed them to the ICU, but doctors say one prestige drama is so traumatized it might never have the strength to play past the main menu again,” Quist said. “It’s entirely my fault for leaving them all alone in the dark without a single goodnight note.”